Why Are We Negotiating?

I don't understand why WE are negotiating... Both He and I signed documentation stating that we were agreeing to the 3190 therapy.  Both He and I said we would pay 1/2.  Both He and I have gone through this moving drama before without issue.  And now my attorney says we should negotiate???

I called Dr. Miller today and she said that he has not paid and opposing counsel is refusing to allow therapy until their conditions are met.  Wait... didn't we already agree to this?

01.  He wants proof from my company that I have to move.

02.  He says its too far and is refusing to drive the distance between his dad's house and my new house.

03.  He says Dr. Miller's office in Rancho Cucamonga is now too far to drive to and wants a different therapist.

We're running out of time.  The girls aren't going to get the chance to speak to a therapist because she's already booked through the 3rd week in June.  

Nicely played, Sir.  Sigh..............

He is Opposing the Move and Wants an Ex Parte

His attorney contacted my attorney and is threatening an Ex Parte emergency hearing to stop our move.  As far as positive stuff for us: He never cared or responded before when I sent him moving notices, The move doesn't interfere with his visitation, The move doesn't interfere with the girls' 3190 sessions, The reasons for my previous moves were all legit; 1st move to Anaheim was because we separated, 2nd move to Piñon Hills because I was being transferred to the Adelanto Jobsite, 3rd move to Victorville because the house I was renting got foreclosed on. The new move to San Diego is again because I'm being transferred for my job. WHY is he trying to stop us?!?!?!?!? He's gonna give me an ulcer.

He Never Showed Up & The Moving Letter

The girls texted him Saturday evening as soon as they got home and also again Sunday morning.  Joc's was something like, "I don't want to go, please don't pick me up" and Aud's was, "Stop being mean to me and Joc... I don't want to see you... Don't come pick us up".  No police... So I guess that worked out well for the girls.

The girls did mention that when they were at Grandpa's house on Saturday, the doorbell rang and Dad had to sign for a letter from the mail carrier.  Then he grumbled after reading the letter and went to his room for a few minutes.  My notice of proposed move was due to arrive Saturday... guess he got it.  Luckily for us, there's nothing in our papers that says I need permission for moving... just that I need to give notice.  So no problem there.

We Don't Want to Go Tomorrow

Aud texted me around 4pm from inside the locked bathroom.  She wanted to come home and was afraid.

Texts:
A - Mom i want to go home going to ask grampa but dad is in the room im scared to ask grampa
A - Dad might do something im scared
Me - Ask grandpa
Me - Tell him you need to ask him something in a different room.  Take Jocelyn with you
A - But then dad will want to know what is going on
Me - Then just tell grandpa you aren't feeling good and you want to go home.  Tell him you're afraid your dad might get mad

Then she called me... crying.  I told her she had to ask her supervisor to bring her home.  And that if he wouldn't, then to call me back and I'd call the sheriff.  According to Aud, she did ask and after Grandpa conferred with Dad, then he said he was bringing her home, but that dad was coming with.  Whew... I'm glad he agreed.

According to Aud, she managed to avoid her dad all day even though he kept trying to touch her and hug her and play with her hair.  She kept getting up and moving away from him.  Joc on the other hand, just sat here and did whatever she was told to do by him.  Aud is worried about her.  Grandpa tried to leave once to go to the store.  Aud bluntly said to him, "Grandpa, you're not allowed to leave.."  So he stayed.  Good thing they know the rules.

As soon as the girls were home, Joc started crying and was upset saying she didn't want to go tomorrow.  She is confused about how she misses him when he's being a nice guy.  I get that.  We wish he was a nice guy all the time.  Then we wouldn't have to be going through this.  But then she is also confused because she is afraid of him and doesn't want to see him when he's being mean.  I had them both make video diary entries.

Both of the girls texted Dad last night and this morning saying they didn't want to see him and to please not come pick them up this morning.  I guess we'll see if we need to call the sheriff or not.  I'm not allowed to say anything... that would be interfering and me refusing visitation.  But the girls are allowed to speak to the sheriff and they are allowed to refuse visitation.

1st Visit Since The Hearing

The girls were nervous this morning. But we went through the rules and what their "outs" are. I think... I hope that things go okay today. Grandpa didn't say much, but shook his head "no" when I held up a copy of the court orders and asked him if he needed a copy. Dad held out his arms for a hug and A&J just walked right past him and into the back seat. Aud has decided she's gonna deal with visitation by ignoring him and Joc has decided she will stick by Aud.

Dr. Amy Miller

Just got a call from the 3190 court therapist.  We're supposed to split the report fee and the girls' sessions and pay in full for our own sessions.  Ugh... this stuff is expensive.  But what if he doesn't pay?  Apparently they will try and try and finally have the option to see only the girls and I.  Earliest appt is mid June.  That only gives us about 3 sessions at most.  Hopefully its enough.

Just notes for myself:
Report fee:  $500 - paid 1/2
Each session: $150 - will pay 1/2 for girls and full for myself at each appt
Approx frequency: 1 session per week in Rancho Cucamonga
Court Hearing Date: July 2nd.

Intro and Background

Facebook seems not to be the correct place to rant about personal matters.  Esp things concerning him.  But I'm supposed to keep a journal.  The journal entry count and including message emails for last year alone was over 500 pages on the court "My Family Wizard" website.  Now to try something a bit more casual and where I can rant if need be.  Not sure if I should be concerned about it being public.  Maybe it doesn't really matter.

Divorce was final Nov 2011.  I'm finally mostly away from the Domestic Violence.  But the kids on the other hand, seem not to be so lucky thanks to our legal system.  He has joint custody, despite the violence,as well as visitation with the kids.  The girls are pretty much refusing to see him since January.  Now we have attorneys involved and my attorney is strongly suggesting that the girls go to visitation, with their paternal grandfather as a "supervisor".  Riiiight.  Grandpa never stopped anything before... Why should we assume he will protect them now???

There's been court ordered therapy and we're in process of acquiring it.  Maybe its as simple as that working and we could be settled in July at the next court hearing?  Gosh I hope so.  Aud has had 3 breakdowns at school this week since I told her she needs to go to visitation and her teacher is ready to kick her out of the school theater production since she can't keep it together and keeps melting down.  Sigh...

He said that everything reported to CPS was a lie.  He says I lied and the girls lied.  He told the CPS and the Court this.  CPS then closed our case.  Apparently unless she fall unconscious when he's choking her, unless we have bleeding or broken limbs, unless I have lots of photos of black eyes and bruises: its not abuse, its just bad parenting.  Grrrr CPS....

So now we wait.  Why does he do this?????  Oh that's right... cause he's abusive.